COMEDY/TRAGEDY: Week 8

Thanks to a number of crippling bye weeks this weekend, there wasn't a single coaching decision that would have changed the outcome of a game. The true comedy/tragedy of the weekend (pointed out by the manager himself) was that despite gross mismanagement of Danger Monkey's personnel, the Monkey still pulled out a victory. Seth Pruss, distracted by the drafting of a constitution just as our forefathers were, made the wrong decision at quarterback, and a pair of wide receiver slots, and still made Soul-Ja Boi Records his bitch.

Speaking of bye weeks, we here at The Blog believe (without doing any research whatsoever) that Week 8 marked the first time this season that a team had zero points on the bench due to inactivity. Both The Sweet Tangy Limes and The Rape Stand struggled to put a full team on the field, and suffered predictable losses.

It's bad enough that six teams were off on bye this week and that alone sent owners scurrying for replacement players. But the week served up 14 NFL teams that only scored one touchdown in the entire game. Of 24 teams which played on Sunday, only ten managed to have more than one touchdown. Thirteen teams only had 13 points or less. Unless you had Lee Evans, Marques Colston, Braylon Edwards, Reggie Wayne, Antonio Gates, Joseph Addai, Brian Westbrook, Tom Brady, Derek Anderson or Drew Brees, you probably did not have much for a score this week.

This week, with all the low scores, there are just too many candidates for La Resistance Player of the Weak, with Plaxico Burress, Steve Smith, Ladell Betts, and Desmond Clark all receiving votes.

On to the lineups, with the Comedies especially thin at the wide receiver position. Comedy players were on their respective benches, while Tragedies hurt more than they helped in the starting lineup...

COMEDY
QB: Derek Anderson, Danger Monkey, 36.75 pts.
RB: Jesse Chatman, Kimbo Slice, 16.5 pts.
RB: Selvin Young, The Brownie Kaboom Sundaes, 18.5 pts.
WR: Santana Moss, Pontoon Boats, 7.0 pts.
WR: James Jones, Danger Monkey, 20.5 pts.
WR: Shaun MacDonald, Danger Monkey, 9.0 pts.
DST: Chargers, Gangstalicious Resurrection, 34.0 pts.

TRAGEDY:
QB: Eli Manning, Sweet Tangy Limes, 11.25 pts.
RB: Ladell Betts, The Rape Stand, 0.75 pts.
RB: Rueben Droughns, Jake Long's Cock, 4.0 pts.
WR: Steve Smith, Pontoon Boats, 2.0 pts.
WR: Laverneus Coles, Gangstalicious Resurrection, 1.5 pts.
WR: Plaxico Burress, Danger Monkey, 2.0 pts.
TE: Desmond Clark, Danger Monkey, 1.5 pts.
DST: Vikings, Gangstalicious Resurrection, 10.0 pts.