COMEDY/TRAGEDY: Week 9

Points were scored in bunches this week, resulting in many points on the field (The Straw Hat Brigade's League-best 221.5 points) and on the bench. The closest battle of the weekend was the war of attrition between Soul-Ja Boi's starting lineup and his bench. In a match-up that was too close to call until the late afternoon on Sunday, the starters barely edged the reserves 94-92.5, probably due to the fact that there was no quarterback representing the bench. Soul-Ja Boi's two starting running backs combined didn't equal the production of pine riding Warrick Dunn.

Regardless, different personnel decisions would not have swayed the game for Robby Bobby, or any other manager in the League for that matter. Several changes would have made for closer contests, but nothing would have tipped the scales. The Sweet Tangy Limes overcame awful performances from their QB and a RB, but still mnaged a win thanks to 'All Day' Peterson.

The coaching the League has improved considerably over the course of the year, from the level of the Big 10 in the early going, to the level of the Pac-10 recently, and is approaching SEC caliber as we head down the stretch.

The current Coach Ratings, as determined by CBSSportsline are as follows:

1) The Rape Stand
2) The Brownie Kaboom Sundaes
3) Sweet Tangy Limes
4) The Straw Hat Brigade
5) Soul-Ja Boi Records
6) El Che y los Guerrileros
7) Jake Long's Cock
8) Kimbo Slice
9) Pontoon Boats
10) Danger Monkey
11) Your Mom's Balls
12) Gangstalicious Resurrection

The many points left on the bench by managers this week created quite a competition for the Comedy Lineup. Brett Favre (47.5), Justin Fargas (23.75), and Ron Dayne (25.25) all appeared on the radar, but did not make the cut. The Tragedy Lineup had many potential candidates as well, with someone named "A. Echemandu" registering 0.5 points, but he was disqualified because I don't know who he is, or which team he plays for.

This week's La Resistance Player of the Weak is San Diego and Gangstalicious Resurrection QB Philip Rivers. Rivers did not have the lowest point total at his position this weekend, but the fact that he managed just 8.5 points against Minnesota got him the nod over Kurt Warner. Rivers went up against the Vikings defense, which had allowed the third-most fantasy points to quarterbacks this season, and put up a terrible effort (just like the rest of the Chargers). Rivers completed less than half of his pass attempts for a paltry 197 yards and a pick. Congratulations Phil!

On to the lineups. As always, Comedy players were on their respective benches, while Tragedies hurt more than they helped in the starting lineup.

COMEDY:
QB: Ben Roethlisberger, El Che, 49.25 pts.
RB: Jamal Lewis, Gangstalicious, 40.0 pts.
RB: Warrick Dunn, Soul-Ja Boi, 27.75 pts.
WR: Santonio Holmes, El Che, 28.0 pts.
WR: Shaun McDonald, Danger Monkey, 18.75 pts
WR: DJ Hackett, Soul-Ja Boi, 14.0 pts

TRAGEDY:
QB: Kurt Warner, Limes, 7.5 pts.
RB: Edgerrin James, Gangstalicious, 9.5 pts
RB: Shaun Alexander, Limes, 7.0 pts.
WR: Hines Ward, YMB, 4.0 pts.
WR: Steve Smith, Pontoon, 2.5 pts.
WR: A. Randle-El, El Che, 3.5 pts
TE: Antonio Gates, El Che, 1.5 pts.