COMEDY/TRAGEDY: Week 11

What the holy hell happened this week? Judging by the results, and with the benefit of 20/10 hindsight, managers followed the Saturday lead of Pontoon Boats manager Evan Schmitt and drunkenly mis-managed their rosters, resulting in boatloads of points left on the bench. Frighteningly for the League, this includes El Che head coach Erik Kintzel, who pulled down the biggest score of the week, but could have easily surpassed the 200-point barrier with a few moves.

For the first time in several weeks, the abundance of points on the bench would have changed the results of several of this week's games. We begin with the Kimbo Slice/Danger Monkey clash. In hindsight, both managers made the wrong decision at quarterback (though one was due to injury). Both managers make poor decisions at running back. And one made a poor decision at wide receiver. While it's oversimplifying things, Kimbo Slice would have taken the game by starting Vince Young over Donovan McNabb, but probably also could have pulled out a victory if McNabb had played the entire game.

In the game between Gangstalicious Resurrection and The Straw Hat Brigade, Resurrection manager Emilio Pabon finally relegated two-time defending Player of the Weak Philip Rivers to the bench (good to see he's paying attention). However, in the closest game of the week, starting Ronald Curry over any of his three WRs would have tilted the scales in the Resurrection's favor.

Finally, in a battle for basement supremacy, Dr. Bigtime and the Brownie Kaboom Sundays would have smoked Jake Long's Cock with two different decisions. Placing Thomas Jones and Calvin Johnson in the starting lineup for Selvin Young and Jerricho Cotchery would have given Hartman a 190.75-190.0 win over the Commish, and there was nothing Matlin could have done about having maxed out his roster's point potential this week.

Since the previous champeen, Phil Rivers, threw for over 300 yards on Resurrection's bench this week, that means we will have a new La Resistance Player of the WEAK. Talk about penthouse to poor-house. This week's Player of the WEAK is just 11 months removed from a Super Bowl championship, but on Sunday proved (for the second consecutive week) what he would have done with Tom Brady's supporting cast for the last six years. Celebrating his first Player of the WEAK award is the newest Danger Monkey, Peyton Manning. Manning, acquired by the Rules Czar this week, manged just 163 yards in the air to go along with an interception against Kansas City IN THE RCA DOME. For the second straight week, were it not for Joseph Addai the mighty Colts probably wouldn't have even advanced into the red zone. Congratulations Peyton, enjoy your Fleet Laboratories gift card, maybe you should give yourself a Priceless Pep Talk this week.

On to the lineups. As always, Comedy players were on their respective benches, while Tragedies hurt more than they helped in the starting lineup.

COMEDY:
QB: Vince Young, Kimbo Slice, 49.25 pts.
RB: Thomas Jones, Sundaes, 24.0 pts.
RB: Earnest Graham, YMB, 22.75 pts.
WR: Chris Henry, El Che, 18.0 pts.
WR: Brandon Stokely, El Che, 17.5 pts.
WR: Ronald Curry, Gangstalicious, 20.0 pts.
DST: Giants, El Che, 29.0 pts.

TRAGEDY:
QB: Peyton Manning, Monkey, 9.0 pts.
RB: Rudi Johnson, Soul-Ja Boi, 4.5 pts.
RB: Clinton Portis, Kimbo Slice, 7.0 pts.
WR: Patrick Crayton, YMB, 2.0 pts.
WR: Reggie Brown, Limes, 2.0 pts.
WR: Jerricho Cotchery, Sundaes, 0.5 pts.
TE: Randy McMichael, Sundaes, 0.5 pts.
DST: Bears, Pontoon Boats, 8.0 pts.