Obviously it was a good win for our ballclub this week, Kimbo Slice put up a hell of an effort and some people would say we were lucky to escape with a win this week. I'm not one of those people. When you play as well as we did, it doesn't matter one bit what your opponent does. We've got some guys that were banged up in the win this week, but nobody suffered any injuries that should keep them out of action going forward. Good effort on both sides of the ball, and even on special teams. I can't pronounce the kicker's name, but as long as he keeps splitting the uprights, I'll just call him Money.
To what do you attribute your strong performance this week?
Well, first and foremost was Ronnie Brown removing his head from his ass and deciding to play like a first round draft pick. Sure it was the Jets, and sure Coach Mangini will accuse us of videotaping his wife in the shower...all lies by the way....as far as you know....but Ronnie came to play and made a statement. It's been a tough year for the Auburn program, and a tough year for all the Auburn running backs in the NFL like Brandon Jacobs, Cadillac, and Rudi Johnson, so it was good to see Ronnie separate himself. We knew it would be a difficult week with Andre on the bench with an injury, although we didn't know it would be made even tougher by Kurt Warner's complete inability to look in Larry's direction. Fuck Kurt Warner. I can't stress that enough. Fuck Kurt Warner.
Coach K, you took some heat for picking up Bobby Engram this week, and he caught a touchdown pass in the first two minutes of his game, how'd that make you feel?
Do you like apples Hartman? How do you like 'dem apples?
Coach, with the war in Iraq still raging, how important for America was this win by your team?
If the Rape Stand loses, the terrorists win, its really that simple. I'm not saying that this is America's Team....you guys are the ones saying that....but a vote against the Stand is a vote for Al Qaeda. George Bush may not care about black people, but Tony Romo does.
Coach, if your team was a beverage, what beverage would it be?
Dr. Pepper. This team unleashes 23 different kinds of pain on its opponents. Except for Kintzel, because he's a pacifist.
Are you saying last week's loss was out of your control?
No, I'm not making excuses about that loss, but I do believe that El Che was using some sort of illegal shamanism on the sideline last week, and I've asked Commissioner Matlin to look into that. Guys, please, we're looking ahead to the Pontoon Boats, not looking back. We're 2-1 in the division, and feel like we're in a good position moving forward.
Did you give the team any time to enjoy this win?
The 24-hour rule was in effect, and I'm sure the guys enjoyed the chance to bask in the glorious spotlight of victory. I think the fans did as well. In fact, here's some footage of the victory party at Middlebury College.
Coach, The Rape Stand versus a hurricane, who ya got?
Is the hurricane's name Hurricane Rape Stand? No? Then I'll take the Stand. This team is really starting to come together, and since the only thing standing in the way of a 3-1 start is something called the Pontoon Boats, I don't see things changing in the near future. Seriously, Pontoon Boats? You know what would sink a whole fleet of Pontoon Boats? Hurricane Rape Stand.
What are some of the keys for this team's success going forward?
Well, the biggest keys might just be Clinton Portis and Marion Barber. We're not hoping for injuries to those two, but we think Ladell and Julius can do the job if they get the chance. I mean, should anything happen to Clinton and Marion, that would be terrible.....just awful....just....hmmmm....
Coach, any thoughts overall on the League thus far?
There are some quality teams in this league, and then there are some struggling teams...and then there are Your Mom's Balls. On draft day, their fans in attendance would have booed almost every pick if they weren't so damn confused. Even Matt Millen was disgusted. Overall, I really think that on any given week about half the teams will win, and half will lose, I really believe that.
No comments:
Post a Comment