We're just hours a way from the kickoff of the 2009 LRFL season, but we'd be remiss if we didn't recount the worst and best picks of the draft. Without further ado:
Top 10 Worst:
#1: Tony Romo, First Round (#9 overall) - DEVO Dance Party (formerly Delta Sigma)
Presumably roped-in by the CBS analysts' rankings (which rated Romo as the best player available), GM Jon Ades selected Tony Romo with DEVO Dance Party's first round pick. In doing so, he passed up running backs Brandon Jacobs and Brian Westbrook, leaving him to start Thomas Jones as his #2. Romo, meanwhile, likely could have been had in the 4th or 5th round. Like his new name, Ades's decision with his first pick is quite distirbing.
#2: Marshawn Lynch, Fourth Round (#43 overall) - Pontoon Boats
Rather than shore up his receiving corps in the fourth round, perpetually underachieving GM Hong Kong Drago Schmidt chose Lynch, a perpetually underachieving running back on a horrible offense that just fired its offensive coordinator and who is suspended for the first three weeks of the season. Drago skipped receivers like Bernard Berrian, Anthony Gonzalez, Santonio Holmes, and Hines Ward, and running backs like Knowshon Moreno and Cedric Benson.
#3: Roy E. Williams, Second Round (#23 overall) - Brett Baker's Pill Bonanza Extravaganza
Despite not having a #2 running back, GM Jeremy Gilman reached for an overrated Roy Williams in the second round. Williams is, at best, a 4th round talent and the Extravaganza will be left to start either LenDale White and Jamal Lewis at running back on a weekly basis. The pick was an early dent in Gilman's campaign for "Most Improved Manager," although his email contributions to the LRFL so far have been a substantial upgrade from previous seasons.
#4: Stephen Gostkowski, Eleventh Round (#123 overall) - Douche Chills
Douche Chills GM Matt Katz is on vacation in Israel and decided to tap outside consultant Jake Matlin to run his war-room. Matlin did his best Katz impression and drafted Gostkowski, the first kicker taken, in the eleventh round. There is absolutely no excuse to take a kicker before the last round of the draft. The Douche Chills missed out on several potential sleepers and the remaining shreds of their dignity.
#5 (tie): Giants DST, Eighth Round (#96 overall) - Jesus Juice Junkies (formerly Gangstalicious Resurrection); Steelers DST, Ninth Round (#100 overall) - FFHBs
Like #4, Triple J GM Emo Pabon and FFHBs GM Bobby Frederickson IV reached and took defenses far too early. Though defenses are capable of putting up big points, there isn't much disparity, pointwise, between the top 15. More negative points to Federickson for panicking once he saw Emo take the first defense of the draft--it was if someone just put a plate of melon and prosciutto in front of him and he had no idea what to do.
#6: Carson Palmer, Fifth Round (#49 overall) - Jesus Juice Junkies
GM Emo Pabon makes a second appearance on this list for his pick of Carson Palmer with the first pick of the fifth round. Needing a solid #3 running back in light of questions surrounding Willie Parker, Pabon decided to take Palmer, a quarterback who was projected to go somewhere between round eight and round ten. Pabon later spent two draft picks on Eli Manning and Chad Pennington.
#7: Devin Hester, Sixth Round (#70 overall) - Douche Chills
The consensus is that the Douche Chills had one of the worst drafts. Hester was ranked high on several draft boards, but most of that was due to his name. He did not demonstrate an ability to develop a connection with Jay Cutler in the preseason and his route-running is suspect. Many analysts feel that Earl Bennett will be the better receiver in Chicago and the Douche Chills skipped out on Santana Moss, Tory Holt, and Derrick Mason in favor of Hester. Hey, at least Katz used his first rounder on Reggie Bush!
#8: Beanie Wells, Fifth Round (#57 overall) - DEVO Dance Party
Another name pick. In college, Wells was regularly injured and has already been banged up in the offseason. Once you add the facts that Arizona passes 75% of the time and that no Arizona running back has had a good year statwise in the 2000s, Ades's decision to take Wells so early seems as curious as the banana cream pie he ate on draft night.
#9: Desean Jackson, Third Round (#34 overall) - The Wiggle Jiggles (formerly El Che y los Guerrilleros)
El Che GM Eriq Keentsull admitted that this pick was based on his love for the Eagles. With Lee Evans, Braylon Edwards, Larry Johnson, and Knowshon Moreno hanging out there, Keentsull would have been wise to wait to pick Jackson until a later round where he would likely have been available. It was a shaky draft in general for Keentsull who was too busy admiring Bird Form GM Mike Hartman's basil plant to keep track of his picks.
#10: Bernard Berrian, Fourth Round (#44 overall) - Hartman in Bird Form
While Hartman's team entered the draft with a core of LaDainian Tomlinson, Michael Turner, and Tom Brady, Hartman in Bird Form did not have a pick until the fourth round and desparately needed to grab a receiver. Though the pickings were slim, Hartman probably put too much faith in Brett Farve's ability to get the ball to Berrian, who has never been a consistent pass-catcher. Hartman could, and probably should, have taken the more sure-handed Anthony Gonzalez or Hines Ward. Frazzled by the pick, Hartman later drafted two white wide receivers--never a good sign.
Honorable Mention: Jason Witten, Second Round (#18 overall) - Lunch Money (too early); Willie Parker, Third Round (#25 overall) - Jesus Juice Junkies (too early and sharing carries); Gred Olsen, Fifth Round (#56 overall) - Sweet Tangy Limes (too early and Cooley still on the board); Chris Cooley, Sixth Round (#61 overall) - Hollywood Hogwash (too early and based on man-love); John Carlson, Seventh Round (#76 overall) - Douche Chills (way too early); Percy Harvin, Eighth Round (#88 overall) - DEVO Dance Party (another name pick); Ted Ginn, Jr., Eighth Round (#91 overall) - Lunch Money (too early); Steve Smith, Eighth Round (#94 overall) - FFHBs (don't trust any NY receivers); Eli Manning, Tenth Round (#120 overall) - Jesus Juice Junkies (too early and took Palmer in the 5th).
Top 10 Best:
#1: James Davis, Tenth Round (#109 overall) - Hollywood Hogwash
Davis looked great in the preseason and there were even rumors that Jamal Lewis was going to be released. It is shocking that players like Steve Smith (NYG), Chris Chambers, and Patrick Crayton went ahead of Davis, who could be starting for Cleveland by mid-season. Hogwash GM Nate Matlin has come a long way since his Kinko's days.
#2: Donald Brown, Sixth Round (#68 overall) - Hartman in Bird Form
It wasn't a great draft for Bird Form GM Mike Hartman, but he managed to grab Brown late in the sixth round much to the chagrin of fellow GMs. Many are predicting Brown to have a great rookie season, potentially taking over Joe Addai's starting job in Indy. Considering Brown's potential, it was surprising to see other GMs reach for tightends Greg Olsen and Owen Daniels with earlier picks. If Brown pans out, Hartman will have enough depth at running back to trade for a much-needed receiver, although he has his eye on Brandon Stokley to complete the white receiver trifecta.
#3: Cadillac Williams, Twelfth Round (#136 overall) - DEVO Dance Party
Like Hartman, Dance Party GM Jon Ades did not have the strongest draft but he managed to make a few picks really count. Caddy Williams now sits atop the Buccaneers' depth chart, yet Williams went seven rounds after fellow Buc running back Derrick Ward. Although his stat lines will likely not wow anybody this season, Williams presents unbelievable value so late in the draft and clearly was a better pick than Devery Henderson, Domenick Hixon, and Joey Galloway who were taken in the picks leading up to Dance Party's selection.
#4: Chris Henry, Ninth Round (#107 overall) - Danger Monkey
Four preseason games, four touchdowns. The Bengals offense could be rejuvenated this year with a healthy Carson Palmer and Henry has shown a new dedication to the game of football that could catapult him into the limelight. The albariňo that GM Sethadiah Pruss was drinking during the draft must have been filled with magic pixie dust as Pruss had one of the best drafts of the night. Henry, taken after other GMs spent picks on Chris Chambers and Patrick Crayton, was Pruss's best value.
#5: Knowshon Moreno, Fifth Round (#51 overall) - Douche Chills
For most of the draft, consultant Jake Matlin executed GM Matt Katz's normal draft strategy to a T (i.e. making inexplicable picks that defy common sense). The primary exception was the Chills' fifth round selection of Knowshon Moreno. The braintrust in Denver is high on the rookie, and we see him putting up 900+ yards and potentially double-digit touchdowns. The pick will allow the Douche Chills to relegate Reggie Bush to his proper role as a #3 running back.
#6: Felix Jones, Sixth Round (#62 overall) - Danger Monkey
Felix Jones provides great value in the sixth round. Although he is #2 on the Cowboys' depth chart, he was getting serious touches last year before being injured and he made the most of them. Another solid pick for Pruss who laid the smacketh down to the off-season detractors who questioned his ability to manage his team in the face of fatherdom.
#7: LeSean McCoy, Seventh Round (#82 overall) - The Wiggle Jiggles
Jiggles GM Eriq Keentsull traded back into the seventh round to nab McCoy. While its not clear that he presents a better value in round seven than Jonathan Stewart (who Keentsull traded along with his 9th round pick to Bird Form for their 7th and 8th rounders), McCoy looked good in the preseason and could step up big when Brian Westbrook eventually gets injured. Keentsull's beard beetles approved with racous applause.
#8: Leon Washington, Ninth Round (#101 overall) - Hartman in Bird Form
Bird Form suprisingly makes its second appearance in the top ten best picks with the selection of Leon Washingon in the ninth round. Washington is another player on the verge of a breakout year, especially with only an aging Thomas Jones in front of him. Plus, any time you have a chance to take a guy named Leon, you do it.
#9: Ahmad Bradhshaw, Eighth Round (#85 overall) - Hollywood Hogwash
Bradshaw looked great last year when he had a chance to get carries. With Derrick Ward gone, Bradshaw becomes the second banana and it just feels like Brandon Jacobs is due for an injury. In the eighth round, Bradshaw was a no brainer for Matlin, despite the fact that he needed a third receiver. Value is value and a toll is a toll...if we don't get no tolls then we don't eat no rolls.
#10: Cedric Benson, Fifth Round (#55 overall) - Lunch Money
Though Lunch Money GM Paul Kennedy makes his first appearance in the besk pick top ten, he had a good draft based on needs. Benson looked like he finally got his proverbial shit together at the end of last year, and could be a solid #2 running back. We see decent numbers for him--at least similar or better than Joseph Addai and Marshawn Lynch who were taken earlier than Benson (can't stress enough how bad that Lynch pick was -- he's suspended, plays on perhaps the worst offense in the league and behind an already horrible offensive line that is now starting two rookies). Perhaps motivated by the press office's Season Preview, which predicted that Lunch Money would underwhelm in 2009, Kennedy drafted a team that looks to be an early championship contender.
Honorable Mention: Tory Holt, Seventh Round (#77 overall) - Hartman in Bird Form (Holt's not done yet); Steve Breaston, Eighth Round (#86 overall) - Danger Monkey (#2 WR numbers at a #4 price); Nate Washington, Eighth Round (#94 overall) - Douche Chills (sleeper potential); Chester Taylor, Ninth Round (#104 overall) - Sweet Tangy Limes (solid value in ninth); Glen Coffee, Eleventh Round (#126 overall) - Pontoon Boats (Drago shockingly makes good pick and gets handcuff for Gore); Zach Miller, Twelfth Round (#135 overall) - The Wiggle Jiggles (great value); Mike Bell, Twelfth Round (#137 overall) - Sweet Tangy Limes (getting week one start and could take carries from Lucky Pierre Thomas).
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