Monday, December 17, 2007

Westbrook Takes Knee; Bangs League Intern in Ass Post-Game

Philadelphia, PA -- Brian Westbrook had a picture perfect view of the end zone. The Eagles, up by 4 and looking to put the game out of reach, had the ball in Cowboys territory. Trying to run out the clock, Andy Reid called Westbrook's number. Westbrook took the handoff and ran through the gap between his right tackle and right guard and saw paydirt. For all intents and purposes, Westbrook was going to take it in and put the Cowboys down by two scores. But Westbrook had other plans. Instead of diving head first into the endzone, he took a knee at the one, ensuring that the Eagles would be able to run out the clock.

How did Westbrook celebrate the Eagles' big win over their archrival? "I found that pasty whiteboy, Paul Kennedy," Westbrook said, "you know; the LRFL League Intern...yeah, I bent him over and slammed it right up his butt." Indeed, Westbrook decided that after metaphorically fucking Kennedy in the rear, he might as well do it for real. Kennedy could not reached for comment as he is currently recuperaing at Mt. Sanai Hospital where he received 84 inner-rectum stitches.

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